Cooking With Me!

Step 1: weave bacon, check YouTube to make sure you’re doing it right.
Step 2: be too lazy to go buy breadcrumbs, sift some whole wheat ritz crackers until your sifter looks offended
Step: 3 Mix in your ingredients and speak like Paula Deen
Step 4: realize you almost forgot milk, add it at the last minute, make a loaf, pretend it never happened.
Step 5: add your special sauce. Sing “lettuce cheese pickles onions on a sesame seed bun” repeatedly until finished
Step 6: have an anxiety attack over whether or not your bacon weave will fall apart as you transfer it onto the loaf
Step 7: wait and ponder whether or not you wasted a pack of bacon
Step 8: pretend you don’t live alone. Tell your “roommate” this kitchen won’t clean itself and those dishes won’t clean themselves. Give a side eye and smirk of disapproval, make a bowl of cereal.
I’ve been gone for a while but I had nothing to post about really. Life was neutral which is better because while it isn’t great, it isn’t bad either. But I’ll post about my trip to Mardi Gras soon and man stuff.

WTF is This Paranormal Activity Shit, You Ask?

1988 Kristi and Katie’s grandma made a deal with a demon for wealth/power in exchange of the first male born in their family; mom & step dad die(Paranormal Activity 3). 2005/2006 Kristi has the first born male, Hunter, so the demon comes after the baby to collect; Kristi’s husband is all “Oh hellll nah” and transfers the demon to Katie(Paranormal Activity 2). 2006 Katie, possessed, kills her boyfriend, Micah(Paranormal Activity) , kills Kristi’s husband(Paranormal Activity 2), kills Kristi(Paranormal Activity 2), and kidnaps Hunter(Paranormal Activity 2) and they haven’t been seen or heard from since.

So there you have it; I haven’t seen the 4th one yet but I plan on going tonight if any tickets are available.  I won’t spoil it unless a PA 5 comes out next year and I’ll continue this.

As far as “Scare” goes, they are scary if you’re really focused on the screen and then sudden shit goes down; the images may stay with you for a while…other than that, they’re pretty decent films. I’ve also posted this on my (more active blog) tumblr… youaintnonerd.tumblr.com

Deep Conditioning…The Struggle is Real

Music Shuffle C…

Music Shuffle Challenge

Put your ipod or mp3 player on shuffle and list the first twenty songs/artists. How did you find the music?

1. After The Love Has Gone: Earth Wind And Fire My parents had my siblings and I listening to EWF probably since birth but I don’t remember that far back so fuck you but I definitely have this song playing in the shower, body rolling, singing into my loofah.
2. Bad News: Kanye West I’ve always been a huge fan of the great Poet Laureate Kanye West and received 808s & Heartbreak as a birthday present from one of my greatest friends after he asked what I wanted and said 808s and Heartbreak I have the entire album store in my 360, this song actually gets me pumped during first person shooters…roaming around, head shots, screaming/singing in the head set “WHAT’S ON THE NEWS!?” haha
3. Secret: Maroon 5 The summer after I graduated high school my best friend at the time played this song on repeat for about 8 hours… I liked it enough not to punch her and to this day, come in on the second verse like I was in the studio with Adam.
4. Cutting Crew: I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight …GRAND THEFT AUTO, VICE CITY…TOMMY VERCETTI…’NOUGH SAID.
5. The Boondocks Theme 2.0: Chaundon I love the Boondocks, I have all of the mixtapes.
6. Spice Up Your Life: Spice Girls I don’t need to explain this one. Colors of the world, very boy, every girl…people of the world! ::jiggies to the front:: I actually just stopped doing this to listen to the whole song.
7. Self Control: Laura Branigan Another Grand Theft Auto Vice City song…when you first start playing the game, it is the second song to come on the radio, if you don’t change the station, right after Billie Jean. I have the entire soundtrack so these songs may keep popping up.
8. Fire Coming Out Of A Monkey’s Head Gorillaz My favorite band.Without the truth of the eyes, the happy folk were blind.
9. Big Papa: Biggie Smalls Because fuck you that’s why.
10. Telephone: Lady Gaga (featuring Beyonce)Sorry I can not hear you, I’m kind of busy.
11. Act 1 Boss (Sonic & Knuckles): Sega If it was ever a part of a Sonic video game, it’s in my itunes. 
12. It’s A Disaster: Ok GO! Back when the “Here It Goes Again” video was cool Limewire kept giving me every Ok GO song except “Here It Goes Again” and voila, I became a fan.
13. Under The Influence: Eminem I have Marshall’s first three studio albums; I’m like a mummy at night fighting with bright lightning, frightened with five little white vicadin pills bitin’ him. I’m like a fucking wasp in the hospital lost, stinging the fuck outta everything I come across in the halls. I light a candle and place it up on the mantle, grab a knife with the blade and stab you with the fuckin’ handle.

    

14. Folsom Prison Blues: Johnny Cash Who doesn’t like Johnny Cash?
15. Free Your Mind: EnVogue When I was younger, I’d pretend I was every member  of EnVogue; I reenacted all of their videos, I’d harmonize as all of them…in one note. 

    

16. La La: Lil Wayne (Featuring Brisco and Busta Rhymes) It was on the album, that’s how I heard it.
17. Le Disko: Shiny Toy Guns This song came on Yahoo’s launch player back when that was cool, I bought the whole album afterwards, they’re pretty cool.
18. Slept So Long: Korn It was in that Queen of The Damned Movie, I love this fucking song!!
19. How Am I Supposed to Live Without You: Michael Bolton Oh Michael, sing it to me baby! I also used this song as a part of my naptime playlist when I taught extremely tiny humans.
20. Closer: Nine Inch Nails It’s one of my favorite songs, my cousin introduced me to this gem ages ago, I also have a bunch of remixes, including my personal favorite the Super Mario Remix

It’s a shame none of my Bjork played, I love her.

Song 21 would’ve been “Christian Dior Denim Flow”. I’m trynna eat out so what we goin’ to dinner for?

Went to Go Feed Him and He was Dead

Had him for ten years, his passing is my fault. I was carrying him pacing around the house not sure what to do with him. It’s beginning to sink in.

I’m sorry.

Fatty

I’ve been taking advantage of becoming a southwesterner and eating all of their food. In the midst of that, I’ve gotten fat. Not Sherman Klump fat but for my height, let’s just say the bitch ass Wii fit thinks I’m OBESE. So I’ve started working out today which is bad since I work 96 hour shifts starting tonight. So once I’m off again, I’ll be doing Ballet Conditioning twice a day…I’m not as flexible as I used to be and at my age that’s pathetic.

I really want to go to the Made In America Festival and my current issues are

• Finding a friend that wants to go
• Acquiring more friends that aren’t always broke(tough but true)
• Getting my arms toned again. (They were falling off during ballet conditioning, ironically, everything else on my body felt fine.
• Getting my sexy back. The only thing that should bounce are the twins NOT the digestive system

Yeah, here’s to Operation Body Back

Took Them Out Of The New Bra

I don’t need those…clearly

5 Months

Random and rushed/brief post… I found out today that a coworker of mine passed away and it really got to me. We started at the job the same day together… he was always a real gentlemen and overall really nice guy. It’s weird…I keep looking back on the day we started…I see him sitting at the table next to me, chatting it up…not thinking he’s going to die in five months. Who really thinks of things like that, I suppose…just crazy.

National Anthem

I stumbled upon this hot fire 🙂 Enjoy folks.

Im Not Here For You, Vol 5

My life as a cover girl