Cooking With Me!

by Robbie

Step 1: weave bacon, check YouTube to make sure you’re doing it right.
Step 2: be too lazy to go buy breadcrumbs, sift some whole wheat ritz crackers until your sifter looks offended
Step: 3 Mix in your ingredients and speak like Paula Deen
Step 4: realize you almost forgot milk, add it at the last minute, make a loaf, pretend it never happened.
Step 5: add your special sauce. Sing “lettuce cheese pickles onions on a sesame seed bun” repeatedly until finished
Step 6: have an anxiety attack over whether or not your bacon weave will fall apart as you transfer it onto the loaf
Step 7: wait and ponder whether or not you wasted a pack of bacon
Step 8: pretend you don’t live alone. Tell your “roommate” this kitchen won’t clean itself and those dishes won’t clean themselves. Give a side eye and smirk of disapproval, make a bowl of cereal.
I’ve been gone for a while but I had nothing to post about really. Life was neutral which is better because while it isn’t great, it isn’t bad either. But I’ll post about my trip to Mardi Gras soon and man stuff.